Gatesy: Okay, there was Footloose, Pauline Hanson in gaol, alpacas, pickles,
T-shirts with stupid phrases on them...
Scod: Specifically, \"Kiss Me Then Pork Me\".
Gatesy: Yeah, that's the one. And it's sort of a Beach Boys thing... more
from the \"pet sounds\" era...
Yon: Less than the \"surf's up\"... well, I dunno, \"surf's up\" is later...
let's not get bogged down in Beach Boys history.
Gatesy: And there's a little bit of Beastie Boys in there too.
GGAmE
Tripod: If it is true that there's just six degrees of near,
FCD
Why am I so lonely?
GAmE
I drift from town to town nomadically.
FCD
Gatesy: Nobody wants me, 'cause fame is so fickle,
FC
If this town's a burger,
D (let ring)
Tripod: Then I am the pickle.
Scod: It's about Kevin Bacon, by the way.
DG
Yon: 'Cause I get thrown out of the town,
G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...
DG
Yon: Like the burger, you know, sliding down the... I'll leave that.
G & S: Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...
CD
Tripod: Such a shame that I got arrested,
GG7
Gatesy: For wearing an obscene T-shirt.
CD
All it said was, \"Kiss Me Then Pork Me\",
GG7
It's just 'cause my name is...
CD
Tripod: ... Kevin Baco___n,
EmC
Kevin Baco____n.
CDG
It's a joke I'm maki_______n'...
Gatesy: Bacon - pork... get it?
GAmE
Tripod: But they didn't get it and I'm sittin' here in gaol,
FCD
Doin' the hand-spider movement.
Yon: People who weren't at this gig will never get this joke... get over it.
GAmE
Tripod: I had to bunk up with a former politician,
FCD
Gatesy: I use that term rather liberally.
FCD
Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me.
Gatesy: (Rapping) You feelin' like you failed,
Now ya sittin' in gaol,
The only thing you have for a toilet is a pail.
But Kevin, stop dancin'
And listen to me, I'm Pauline Hanson,
I'll get ya out of here, gotta listen to my plan, son.
Yon: (Normally) Okay, so now she starts talking. Okay, so what there is is, right...
Gatesy: Why have you stopped bustin' out the rhymes, man?
Yon: 'Cause there's a lot of information in this next bit and I think it'll be a
bit clearer if I...
Gatesy: Okay, before you tell me that, can I just do another chorus?
Yon: Yeah.
CD
Tripod: Kevin Bacon,
EmC
Kevin Bacon.
CDG
It's a joke I'm makin'...
Gatesy: Get it?
Yon: No, no, I don't get it. Are you making fun of me?
Gatesy: No, no, I'm not making fun of you, Pauline.
Yon: 'Cause... 'cause I know what xenophobia is - it's making fun of the Chinese.
Gatesy: No!
Pauline... Pauline, tell me about that plan.
Yon: Oh, yeah...
Gatesy: About escaping, yeah?
Yon: Yeah. Okay, so there's an alpaca, right? You know, you probably see him
around - the gaol alpaca.
Gatesy: Oh, the gaol alpaca!
Yon: And I reckon if you can get him up to about 70 miles per hour, I reckon
you can clear that fence.
You know, Steve McQueen-like.
Gatesy: Cool. Fantastic.
Yon: That's basically it.
GAmE
Tripod: So I jumped on the thing that looked just like a camel,
FCD
Mixed with a deer or a pony.
GAmE
I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca,
FCD
I was no longer alone-y.
DG
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...
DG
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...
CD
It's such a shame that I got arrested,
GEm
For wearing an obscene T-shirt.
EmD
All it said was, \"Kiss Me Then Pork Me\",
G
Gatesy: It's just 'cause my name is...
CD
Tripod: ... Kevin Bacon,
EmC
I'm not fakin',
CD
Gatesy: I'm making a statemen',
GGGGCCG
I'm Kevin Bacon!