CDmFCDmFCGFCG
N.C.
Good mornin! Good mornin!
CF
We stand before the journey
CDmF
That leads us all
CGCG
To Oregon! To Oregon
CF
A pioneer adventure
CDmF
Down the trail
CGF
To Oregon
CG
To Wisconsin!
(To Oregon!)
N.C.
Grandpa? What? My legs hurt.
C F N.C.
By God's command we dare to land in- Wisconsin!
N.C.
We're going to Oregon, Grandpa. Well, I want to go to Wisconsin!
CDmC
The promised land will not wait for us
CDmCF
We leave our home with faith and trust
CDmCG
We'll find the place of our destiny
CGC
And spread our family seed
CDmCG
We'll find the place of our destiny
CGC
And spread our family seed
Em C Dm F G N.C. C Bb Am F
No-ooow the show begins...Ahhhhhmm
[Verse 1]
CBb
Now our journey begins
Am
In the eighteen hundreds
F
In a little city in Missouri
CBb
Before we start
Am
You decide on the names
F
Of all the people in our wagon party
[Pre-chorus]
DmC
You must decide who these pioneers are
FG
Are they carpenters or bankers or leavin' their farm?
DmC
It's time to spin a personal yarn
FG
Carefully choose each name
[Chorus]
C
Cause this is more than a game
Bb
It's more than a game
Am
Oh, yeah, it's more than a game
F
No two shows will ever be the same
[Verse 2]
CBbAm
My first pioneer will be President Polk
F
I know he'd be a good leader of the wagon
CBbAm
Good job now, dear, that's what we're goin for
F
You'd be extra careful not to kill him
CBbAm
I think I would use my mom and dad's names of course
F
So I'll make sure they'll never get divorced
CBbAm
That might be too much information, but hey
F
It's great to have a personal connection
[Verse 3]
AmC
I would make my family rich
DmG
They'd be bankers from New York. Good.
AmC
Richie, Johnny, Emily and Peter and Sue
DmG
Their bank fell down and now they're poor
AmAm7
That's great kids, keep up the good work
DmG
Hey, Grandpa, what would your names be? Oh, well let me tell ya:
CDmAm7F
Dick-suck, Dick-face, Hairy-tit, and Dr. Butt-nugget
N.C. G
Grandpa, the hell is that supposed to mean? What? They're names!
N.C.
Hairytit? Grandpa, you're seeing a bad example for our pioneers here
N.C.
You're going to make them think it's a good idea to name thEir
N.C.
WAgon party stUpiD tHIngS. Well, they should.
[Chorus]
CDm
We are gone to Oregon
C/EF
It's the greatest family vacation
F
It'll bring us together
Am7
Couldn't think of nothin' better, hey!
CG
Time for some family fun
N.C.
On the trail to Oreg-un
CBb
Alright pioneers, what do you say?
Am
What would you like to name me, your wagon leader?
F
Jack Bauer!
CBbAmF
Jack Bauer? I like the sound of that! Yeah!
[Verse 4]
CBbAm
I'm Jack Bauer, a farmer from Illinois
F
All my skills will be useless on the trail
CBbAm
My beautiful family is counting on me
F
A lot of pressure, I can't afford to fail
CBb
Alright pioneers, now what would you
AmF
Like to name your wagon mother? Slippery-When-Wet!
CBb
Oh, that is- Slippery-When-Wet!
AmF
That's super sexy. Yeah!
[Pre-Chorus]
DmC
I'm Slippery-When-Wet and I'm a mother of two
FG
Could've been a banker, guess a farmer will do
Dm C F N.C.
Why did you get to choose?
N.C.
Well honey, I don't know if you know this but, uh, I wrote the show
N.C.
That's just how this one goes. Yeah, but we're not going to get very
CBb
Far as a bunch of fucking farmers. Alright, honey!
AmF
Well, no wagon party is complete without a litter of younguns
CBb
The eldest of which is Slippery-When-Wet and Jack Bauer's teenage daughter
AmFCBb
What would you like to name her? Mouthface! Mouthface? I'll take it!
AmFC
And what about our all-American son with a face of an apple pie?
BbAmF
Craphole! Hmm...Craphole? That sounds good! Yeah!
[Pre-chorus]
AmCDmG
Craphole, yeah that's me, I'm seven and I'm male
AmC
Mouthface, is what my friends call me
DmG
I'm lookin' for love on the trail. Ew gross!
[Bridge]
DmC
I hope you're bit by a snake! I hope you break your back!
BbF
Hey, I found wild fruit! Pay attention, Dad!
DmC
We gonna stop at the forts? And I forgot to shave!
FF#F
Did we bring enough food? Can I write on Grandpa's grave?
Dm C F N.C.
Everyone just behave!
[Chorus]
C
Because it's only a game
Bb
It's only a game
Am
It's only a game
F
The Trail To Oregon is nothing but a game
CDm
We'll be there soon in Oreg-oon
C/EF
Honestly it beats milking cow tits
F
We could be in the kitchen
Am7
Doing something with a chicken
CG
But we couldn't give less of a crap
G N.C.
Cause we're making it to Oreg-ap
CBb
Alright, pioneers - let's get a move on
AmF
Wait a minute you shicken-kit son of a bitch!
CBb
You forgot my name! How could I forget?
AmF
What would you like to name our lovely Grandpa?
CBbAm
Titty-mitty! Titty-mitty?! I like that name! Course you do
F
(cheers)
[Chorus]
CDm
It's time to run to Oreg-un
C/EF
It's too late to change the show now
F
You could go next door
Am7
And see something professional
CG
We wouldn't blame you a bit
G N.C.
If you're sitting through this Ore-shit
CDm
We're Broadway bound in Oreg-ound
C/EF
Cause there's no Broadway in Chicago
F
Who will forget their name
Am7
And who will get the YouTube fame?
CG
These are questions to ask
G N.C. C Bb F
When you're playing Oreg-ask...
[Outro]
CBbF
It's more than a game...
CBbFG
Life is really great...
CCC
On the trail to Oreg-ate