Dm
(Somewhere deep in the slow, eternal depths of the heavens drifts a planet called simply "Earth"
And among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes,
destined to save the future from itself)
ADmGCF/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
(Hey Ninja Brian, I made a time machine spaceship. You... wanna go on it?) (...) (Yeah okay, cool)
GmFCsus4C
Soaring through the galaxy, the stars and sky align
GmFEbEbsus2
The speed of light's for pussies; we're going at the speed of Brian
GmFCsus4C
Flying towards the sexual peak of history and time
DbAbCbGbF
(Computer, set a sexy course for the sexiest year)
F/ABbCadd4
Sixty-nine
F/ABbCadd4
Sixty-nine
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) I've got my space suit
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) And ninety pounds of space lube
DbEbm/DbAb/DbDbEbm/DbAb/Db
Crossing through into a fuckin' wormhole beyond the Milky Way
Eb/DbDb
That shit's far
DbEbm/DbAb/DbDbDbsus4Db
To a time of Earth so far into the future where everyone gets laid
Eb/DbDb
Twice as hard
DEm/DA/DDEm/DA/D
We're noble knights of honor on a fierce and sultry butt crusade
E/DD
Here we are
ADmGC
Open the bay doors and
F/ABbCadd4
Let's live the dream
F/ABbCadd4
Give the world a double team
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
I bet it's a billion person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream
[G ILOQUY]
CmGmF
(Wait, this place isn't sexy at all!
And this robot sign says human touch has been outlawed)
EbBbAb
I can't believe my eyes, but it's a world without sex
CmGmF
Everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks
EbFGmDbEb
Men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance
EbFGmDbEb
Without the thrill of boning, what is life?
EbFGmDb
We must speak to the Council of Dick Elders...
[CONFRONTATION]
GmEbBbF
...tonight (Excuse me, Dick Elders?)[What do you want?]
GmEbBbF
I know it's most unusual to come before you so
GmEbBbF
But the planet Earth sucks balls now that no one's allowed to bone
GmEbBbF
We've come from the past to introduce you to ass [Wait! You're Ninja Sex Party! You will ruin our plans!]
GmEb7GmEb7GmEb7GmEb7
Guards! Sound the alarms!
GmEb7GmEb7
If people have sex, they'll break a thousand-year spell
GmEb7GmEb7
There'll be a revolution and they'll think for themselves
GmEb7GmEb7
We control this planet of unsatisfied wood
GmEb7GmEb7
Why does being evil always feel so damn good?
ADmGC
Fuck that bullshit
F/ABbCadd4
We'll make it right
F/ABbCadd4
Get ready for a sexy fight
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
My dick's the spark of hope and a revolution shall ignite
GmFCsus4C
(Tonight,) We're taking flight, we have to find a girl
GmEb7GmEb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Shoot the fucking lasers at 'em!]
GmFEbEbsus2
Show her what it means to love, and fix this broken world
GmEb7GmEb7
[All the fuckin lasers! All the fuckin lasers at 'em!]
GmFCsus4C
A new sex king will rule; let the boner banners be unfurled
[DISCOVERY]
DbAbCbGbF
(Ninja Brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. I'm immediately in love!)
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) She spent a life all alone
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) Wanna take her to the bone zone
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) Make her feel the pleasure
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) On a lonely treasure
CmGmFCmGmF
I can't believe my eyes, but you're the girl of my dreams
EbBbAb
Let's both tear all of our clothes off like two pants-hating wolverines
CmGmF
The love we make will save the Earth from this oppressive dick regime
EbFGmDb
(Whoa-oh-oh) We're having sex now
Eb F Gm N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) To change the world
EbFGmDb
(Whoa-oh-oh) You brought your friends now
Eb F Gm N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) Oh shit, they're girls!
[D VOLUTION]
CmGmF
I think it's obvious that people liked our sexy show
EbBbAb
A multi-billion person orgy has broken out all across the globe
CmGmF
The human race, much like my junk, will now be free to grow (let's go!)
EbFGmDb
(Whoa-oh-oh) But what about the Elders?
Eb F Gm N.C.
(Whoa-oh-oh) We tore their world to shreds
EbFGmDb
(Whoa-oh-oh) Maybe they'll be cool with it
EbFGm
(Whoa-oh-oh) (Oh hey, Dick Elders! How's it goin'?)
N.C.
[You two are fucking...]
[ESCAPE]
GmEbBbF
[...dead!] So much for that, it's time to put on pants
GmEbBbF
And run away from their Death Army which is starting to advance
GmEb7GmEb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way more fucking lasers at 'em!]
GmEbBbF
We can't die, we're way too young and there are so many girls to bone
GmEb7GmEb7
[Shoot the fucking lasers! Way more fucking lasers at 'em!]
GmEbBbF
But now we're cornered with our backs against the wall!
Gm
[(It's all over, Danny Sexbang! Your time has come!
But first, we're gonna take care of your ninja friend, here!)]
*slash* *screams*
ADmGC
Goddamn, Brian
F/ABbCadd4
You killed them all
F/ABbCadd4
Now the empire will fall
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
I have to say in retrospect that was easier than I thought! (oh yeah!)
[F D WELL]
GmFCsus4C
Our work here's done, the future is secure
GmFEbEbsus2
But my girl and I have one last farewell slam just to be sure
GmFCsus4C
For underneath those rockin' boobs lies a heart that is so pure
DbAbCbGbF
(Take care of this world for me, my darling, I will always love you)
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
(What is your name by the way? Kristen? Ah, a beautiful name
Until that glorious day when we meet again, Katie, farewell!)
F/ABbCadd4
Now let us fly
F/ABbCadd4
Into the night sky
F/ABbCadd4
And we'll raise a glass to ass
F/ABbCadd4
In a final goodbye
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
To sixty-nine, sixty-nine
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
Sixty-nine sixty-nine
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) Let us be gone
F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) Our quest is life-long
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
(Sixty-nine) It's a sexy destiny so let's rock the fuck on
F/ABbCadd4F/ABbCadd4
Sixty-nine, sixty-nine
G/FF
Fuck yeah
G/FF
Fuck yeah