F#A
I've got an ugly face,
EB
With spots all over the place,
F#A
I haven't got any mates,
EB
And me clothes have gone out of date.
F#A
I go to the pub on me own,
EB
And I drink me orange alone,
F#A
I sit and stare at the crack,
EB
But they just turn their backs,
G#C#
I want to chat them up,
F#B
But I stare at me feet,
G#C#F#B
And then I go home and I beat me meat,
G#C#F#B
I'm dead shy about the size of me dick,
D
And chips and gravy make me sick,
F#EC#
I'm a failure with girls I don't know why,
C#BF#
He's a failure with girls He don't know why,
F#EC#
I'm a failure with girls They're so unkind,
C#BF#
He's a failure with girls They're so unkind,
F#EC#
I'm a failure with girls They make me cry,
C#BF#
He's a failure with girls They make hI'm cry,
F#EB
Only wish I could say that I don't mind.
F#A
A Macc Lad said "Sonny take note",
EB
And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat,
F#A
It were the first pint I ever had,
EB
And I changed to a real Macc Lad,
F#A
Me clothes started looking dead flash,
EB
I got a tattoo and a moustache,
F#A
And me car got a go-faster stripe,
EB
And now I pull crack every night,
C#F#B
And I'm not weak anymore,
C#F#B
Cause me dick measures three foot four,
C#F#B
So don't you call me wimp,
G#C#
Cause it's three foot four even when it's limp.
F#EC#
I'm dead macho with girls I never fail,
C#BF#
He's dead macho with girls he nevers fails,
F#EC#
I'm dead macho with girls cause I sup ale,
C#BF#
He's dead macho with girls cause he sups ale,
F#EC#
I'm dead macho with girls thanks to E. Lees,
C#BF#
He's dead macho with girls thanks to E. Lees,
F#EB
Only wish that I didn't have VD.