G         E7                  A7
Would you like to play the guitar?
      D7              G
Carry money home in a jar
       E7               A7  Am
From a coffeehouse or a bar
    D7                    G
Or would you rather get a job? 

VERSE 1:

  G          C                    G          C
A job is the thing that makes you get out of bed
    G          C                G
And work every day until you're dead.
     A7                      D7
Your back is achin' and your brain is numb
        A7                        D7
And you just can't wait until the weekend comes
           G             C                Bm   E7
But if you don't want to starve or beg or rob
Am           D7            G
You're gonna have to get a job 

CHORUS 2:

G            E7                   A7
Or would you like to play the guitar
      D7                     G
Drive for miles and miles in your car
       E7                      A7  Am
And pretend that you're a big star
   D7                        G
Or would you rather book the gig? 

VERSE 2:

  G            C                 G           C
An agent's the guy who takes his twenty- percent
        G           C               G
What he says ain't always what he meant.
      A7                        D7
He'll clean you out in ways you never thought
             A7                      D7
Because he's good at business and he knows you're not.
               G           C            Bm   E7
And then he'll sue if you ever make it big
Am              D7                 G
"Cause he's the guy who booked the gig. 

CHORUS 3:
 
G            E7                   A7
Or would you like to play the guitar
      D7                   G
For a living--har-dee-har-har.
     E7                     A7  Am
I'll admit it's kind of bizarre
    D7                      G
Or would you rather be the wife? 

VERSE 3:

    G           C              G          C
The wife is the one who has to rescue our butts
      G         C                  G
She's either a saint or else she's nuts.
     A7                      D7
She gets impatient and she gets annoyed
        A7                       D7
"Cause she's the one who must remain employed
            G            C                  Bm   E7
And, by the way, if you want to wreck your life
Am       D7              G
Become a guitar player's wife. 

CHORUS 4:

G              E7                   A7
'Cause all the monkeys ain't in the zoo.
            D7                     G
They can be trained to play guitar too.
        E7                 A7    Am
Some do a whole lot better than you
    D7                   Bm E7 Am
But even if you don't go far
              D7                Bm   E7  Am
You could be worse off than you are
    D7                        G  C   G
At least you're playing your guitar.