Dm                F                Bb            A
My hardened heart is frozen, weathered one too many winters
  Dm                F         Bb                A
I no more smell the roses, I woke to watch 'em wither
    Dm           F          Bb            A
I'm mister optimistic, but I'm missing my missus
    Dm             F                Bb            A
So now I feel my ringless fingers reaching for my mistress
Dm                         F             Bb                      A
    I'm afflicted with a wicked disease which I never wish to be rid of
Dm                          F                       Bb                            A
    This addiction got me stricken to my knees with obsession yet I've never felt bigger
Dm                      F                      Bb                                 A
    Once bitten, you're smitten, no kiddin' no way I'll leave unless I'm leaving with her
      Dm                    F                     Bb                           A
Is the magic real? Are we a package deal? Slap a stamp on it, cause they gonna ship us, honey


[Interlude]
Dm        Bb    A 
Dm        Bb    A


[Pre-Chorus]
        Dm
I would never try to objectify
             Bb                         A
But you're a ten, and you got the gentlemen in line
         Dm
What I lack in size, I can catch in eyes
        Bb                       A
So my lady claim your five foot seven prize, I'm a


[Chorus]
Dm            F
    Short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    Hot damn, good-lookin'
Dm                F
    I can't stand, I'm shooken
Bb                 A
    Lord help, I'm hooked because I'm
Dm              F
    A short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    All glam, full bosom
Dm            F
    Yes ma'am, your cushion
Bb                A
    Was meant for all my pushin'


[Interlude]
Dm        Bb    A


[Verse 2]
      Dm                                F
Don't ever let her catch you with your guard down
        Bb                                     A
You can bet she'll get your heart and have it carved out
          Dm                     F
With her skin tight silk stilted in stilettos
Bb                   A
Crimson lips glisten in the shadows
Dm                          F
Covered in curves, and she don't cut shallow
         Bb                        A
Got her talons in deep, keep your eyes up, fellows
Dm                        F
    Bear your fangs, baby drain me dry
Bb                      A
I won't even try to run away cause I'm your


[Chorus]
Dm            F
    Short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    Hot damn, good-lookin'
Dm                F
    I can't stand, I'm shooken
Bb                 A
    Lord help, I'm hooked because I'm
Dm              F
    A short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    All glam, full bosom
Dm            F
    Yes ma'am, your cushion
Bb                A
    Was meant for all my pushin'


[Interlude]
Dm        Bb    A


[Verse 3]
           Dm                   F
Watch her hair blow back as the wind just billows
Bb                         A
Wrapped in satin are them massive pillows
Dm                 F
    No man in the Village ain't heard of her
Bb                  A
    If a Look Could Kill, she's a murderer
Dm                    F
    Think I'm hidin'? Nah, I'm really lurkin'
Bb                          A
You're the vampire, but you got me thirstin'
Dm                   F
    So thick, let me be your feeder
Bb                   A
    Girl please turn me, I'll be your


[Chorus]
Dm            F
    Short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    Hot damn, good-lookin'
Dm                F
    I can't stand, I'm shooken
Bb                 A
    Lord help, I'm hooked because I'm
Dm              F
    A short man, tall woman
Bb           A
    All glam, full bosom
Dm            F
    Yes ma'am, your cushion
Bb                A
    Was meant for all my pushin'