E                        A
It's never given you so much as a lament
     F                       Bb
So I went to the store and I bought a guitar
     E                     A         A7
To bestow this accolade on you, just you
    D                          E
Not Sally, Carrie Ann or Peggy Sue
          A                  F          E7          A
I'm gonna spend my next half day with a girl called Joyce;
      F                  E7                     A           D A E A
Gonna possibly stop at Tebay with a girl called joyce.
    A                    D                        Bm
Hey Joyce, I know you're not as far out as Ronnie Boyce
         E                          A
And I'm aware that you've got a few quirks
       F                         Bb
But it hurts when I hear all the songs to Maria
         E                        A    A7
Well, we haven't really done with J or K
D             E
Much to my dismay
         A                F         E7          A
When the bad gets worse I turn to a girl called Joyce;
      F                  E7                      A         D A E A (x2)
Gonna lose myself in the thrall of a girl called Joyce.
       A                  D                          Bm
Slower ball........ Paris Fashion Week caught me off guard
      E                        A
I was busy with trellising the yard
     F                    Bb
In a springless cart on a sunless day
       E                 A          A7
As the laudanum shortage dawns, two fauns
D                   E
Lead me through the glade
          A                  F         E7          A
Where the gods have dumped Diana for a girl called Joyce;
       F                   E7                   A
And displayed on high is a banner in support of Joyce.
        F                  E
And the brook runs crystal clear
        A                  E
And the brook runs crystal clear
        F                  E
And the brook runs crystal clear
(nc)               A          A   E A7
And the wind cries Joyce.