A          D        F         D
Well I’ve got a dead leg from kicking myself
    F           Bb         E
For letting our friendship fade away
   A       D       F       D
Aloysius Umbongo N’Danga O’Reilly
   F         Bb           E
Is hot on my heels with calamity powder.
  A          D        F       D
I saw you in Hoylake, edgy as ever
F         Bb          E
Up on the red rocks a-whooping and a-hollering
A         D             F      D
Six civic dignitaries – idiots all
F              Bb        E
Heading out to Hilbre: I wouldn’t go that way.
A            D            F         D
Dickheads in quicksand an hour from now
  F             Bb            E
I should have a word but I’ve not had me dinner
  A            D           F          D
A place on the promenade’s got what I need
     F              Bb        E          A
Do I scream for the beadle or go for the ham? 
E                 A     E  
  Do I go for the ham?


    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E             A D F D F Bb E  (x2)
A baguette dilemma.


A              D             F           D
Flushed is the face that you hide in the lace
        F           Bb       E
Of your mother’s mantilla, a bilious affair
A          D             F      D
I’ve got a picture which nobody needs;
  F          Bb   E
A picture of Lord Gort in his underwear.
A          D        F        D
Out of the ordinary into the drains
F        Bb     E
Over the marshy Berwyn
A        D       F         D
Ever the denizen never the norm 
       F        Bb              E
That’s all very well but you’ve still got to eat.
           A          D        F           D
I’ve heard Arthur and Omega’s “All You Can Stomach”
   F        Bb       E
Is far and away your best bet
        A   D     F     D
You can eat in or take away 
F    Bb    E
Your call, what do you say?
       A            D           F            D
If you snack on the hoof you’ll still get to catch
    F      Bb           E  A
The massed ranks of the RNLI 
E    A   E  
  RNLI.


    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E             A
A baguette dilemma for the Booker Prize guy
    D        E           
A baguette dilemma.