C          Am         F     G
My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount
C            Am       G
What am I supposed to do?
    C      Am        F              G
I’m up the creek and never mind the paddle boy
  C            Am      G
I haven’t even got a canoe.


C Am F G, C Am G (x2)


  C       Am         F      G
I sold my soul to an Arctic Roll
          C         Am     G
I went to hell on a red skidoo
          C       Am               F       G
I did the Shake’n’Vac and broke my fucking back
           C                 Am             G
And now my library books are nine weeks overdue.


C Am F G, C Am G (x2)


C      Am     F     G
Knock, knock, who’s there?
    C      Am           G
The patron saint of Llandudno
    C      Am           F     G
The patron saint of Llandudno who?
C    Am        G
Tony Bastable.

C           Am          F            G
You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours
    C          Am       F    G
And I’ll be in heaven before you
  C    Am     F    G
I love you because you
C             Am      G
Look like Jim Reeves.