Dm
High School party, senior year
F
Boys and girls are all sippin’ on beer
C
I like soda, where’s the soda

Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda
Dm
I see you from across the crowd
                F
I said the party is bumpin’ and the music is loud
C                                      Dm
You’re really drunk and you’re looking sad
N.C.
It’s like a date rape ad


F
Girl, then we start to dance and
C
Girl, baby this is romance
Dm                                 C         N.C.
Girl, I’m starting to grow down below, shit, why did I wear sweat pants
F
Girl, your bodies like what
C
conjunction junction, that’s a fine ass butt
Dm                                             C
I’m like a cashew in a lollipop, Just keeping suckin’ ‘til you get to the nut

And I said


       F                        C
Let’s rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
       Dm                       C
Either way girl, we’re taking a walk(wok)…nothing?
F
You’re going to love me the way my uncle did
C
Except you’re not gonna to go to court for doin’ it


F                      C
Be a guillotine or my girl instead
       Dm                    C
Either way, you’re giving me head
F
I’m gonna love you the right way
C
Shawty with a body looking hotty when I say


Dm
Girl
           C
When I say girl
Dm                    F
We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
C
Why’s it called dry humping if I always need a towel after
Dm                                F
You spread your naked legs and I see that wounded that never healed
C
Even though you’re yelling for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
Dm
We’re both aware of my erection
F
You ask if I have protection
C
I say Well um no...I-I tried to buy em once I was in the convenient store my old baby 
walked in I had to hide
them near the tic-tacs I was so embarrassed I peed myself a little bit


F
Girl
C
Girl
Dm
Insert a euphemism

A sexy mental prism
F
Increase my pelvic rhythm

For you with my syllogism
C
I know your body and I know how to please ya

Don’t thank me, thank wikipedia
Dm
Guys don’t go down, well I am
F                                                   C
What the fuck is that, I should have brought my diagram
Dm
Ooh did you feel that, that was an educated guess
C
Ooh did you feel that, uh that one was a sneeze, my bad


Dm
High school party, senior year
F
None of that happened cause I wasn’t invited…hm