INTRO: G
SPOKEN OVER INTRO:
-Alright, here's my tribute to everyone who's ever wanted to be a country singer,
includin' me.
GCadd9G
Well I'll starve myself so I can be skinny, just to get a record deal
Cadd9GD
I'll let 'em paint me up and take pretty pictures, while I try to be myself
GCadd9G
And nobody wants an ugly fat singer, so I gots to do my part
Cadd9GDG
I get pumped-up, decked-out, hire myself a band, 'cause I'm gonna be a county star
N/C
CHORUS:
ACG
And then someday he's gonna fly to Vegas, sportin' him a copper tan
CA
He's gonna spend most of the money he makes tourin' with his five-piece band
GCadd9D
Yeah everybody says the ride is gonna end, but when it's all said and done
Cadd9GDG
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
SOLO: Cadd9GCDG
SPOKEN OVER SOLO:
-Don't sound too bad to me, Bill
-No, it's a plan -Retirement at it's best
-That's right, got me a Lear jet, a limo and everything, but you before you can have all
that, you got to do the groundwork first
-Bill, talk to me, show me the line-up
-Getcha a pencil and paper, here we go
-I got to hear about the pieces to this puzzle
-Alright
GCadd9G
Well I'll hire a manager, agent and producer, and get some publicity (it's a necessary evil)
Cadd9GD
I'm gonna pay 'em all a big fat percentage jus' to tell me what I need (ouch)
GCadd9G
Then when I've had it and they've run me ragged and my record's in the discount bin
G
(whatcha gonna do Bill?)
Cadd9GDG
I'll fire 'em all (get 'em Bill!) and tour much cheaper as just another old has-been
N/C
CHORUS:
ACG
Then you can bet one day he's gonna fly to Vegas sportin' him a copper tan
G
(Like George Hamilton)
GCA
He might keep a little more of the money he makes travellin' as a one-man band
A
(I don't need no roadie)
GCadd9D
Yeah eh-everybody says Bill the ride's gonna end, but when it's all said and done
Cadd9GDG
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
Cadd9GDCadd9G
Yeah I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
CDG