G (32003x)

[Verse]
G                D9
So many presents, so little time 
G              E9
Santa won't be coming 
      F9         D9
By my house this year
         G                 E9
'Cause I tried to drown my sister 
      F9         D9
And I pierced my ear 
   G            E9               F9
Oh mama made it perfectly clear 
            D9             G    E9
Santa don't like bad boys 
D9
    Especially Jewish ones 

[Verse]
 G            E9
Gnip Gnop and LEGO blocks 
    F9     D9
Are what I desire 
    G               E9
So, why'd I have to set 
                F9      D9
The pizza guy's hair on fire 
  G              E9           F9
I told him I was sorry, I'm a liar 
    D9              G    E9
So, no toys for me 
D9
    I don't deserve 'em 

[Bridge]
  Cmaj7         
I couldn't wait for a big wheel 
       D
As the holiday neared 
    Em             D
But then I told my grandma 
         C
That she had a beard 

[Verse]
G                  E9
Rock 'em, Sock 'em robots 
        F9           D9
Is what I was hopin' for 
    G             E9
But then I made a death threat 
        F9        D9
To Vice President Gore 
   G              E9             F9
Oh Santa won't be knockin' on my door 
              D9             G    E9
'Cause he's a big fat whore 
D9
    What made me say that!? 

[Bridge]
Cmaj7
Chutes and Ladders 
            D
Would be so good indeed 
   Em              D
So why'd I have to sell 
           C
That cop a bag of weed 
Cmaj7
So Santa please give me 
   D
My Easy Bake Oven 
  Em              D
I swear I thought Billy goats 
     C
Were made for lovin' 

[Verse]
   G
So Santa won't you 
E9           F9   D9
Accept my apolo - gies 
G               E9
Santa can't you see 
    F9          D9
I'm beggin' you please 
   G           E9
Oh Santa, next year 
            F9
I'll do you right 
              D9
Live from New York 
              G
It's Saturday Night