I overheard your conversation outside my dorm
All your friends are so cool and I'm such a bore
You were talking about something that I almost couldn't understand
You've got two masters in chemistry, I got a punk rock band

I want to say hi, but I don't know how
You listen to Bernstein and I only know 3-chords songs

The girl is outta sight
But I want to be her man
I know I'm a solid five
Oh no and she's a perfect, a perfect ten

You can speak four languages I can barely speak one
You're the queen of sympathy and I'm just not fun
You've always been a grade A student and I'm a sub-par D
Even my friends think that you're just too good for me

I’m not a one, two, three, or four
I’m a solid five