D
How are we supposed to float a wagon? It's a wagon!
D
Oh, childbride!

[Chorus]
D        N.C.
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
        D N.C.             A
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
        D                  G
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
  Em      A      D
Until the day we die!

D                                 A
But I don't wanna die! That's why:

[Chorus]
        D
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
        D                  A
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
        D                  G
We gotta caulk your wagon, Mouthface
  Em      A      D
Until the day we die!

D
Yeah, and how are we supposed to do that?

[Verse 1]
             D N.C.
Well, do you see that ox? Uh-huh
        A N.C.
He's an ox of course. Yep
       D                A
And he took us down the trail
        D                     G
But his time is up, 'cause he won't help us
  D       A       D
Unless he grows a sail
    D       G     D               A
His time is up, unless he grows a sail
    D       G N.C.
His time is up...
   D      A      D
He didn't grow a sail

[Verse 2]
         D
So we'll chop him up, remove his guts
                     A
And grind up all his hooves
           D           G
Then we'll mix it up into a pulp
    D         A       D
And spread it on like glue
      D        G      D             A
We'll chop him up and make him into glue
     D        G
Your caulk is up
     D      A        D
This ox has died for you

D
Why don't we just build a raft?
D
Uh, cause that takes weeks of labor and chopping up wood!
D
Do you wanna chop up all that wood, Mouthface? No. Ok, then!

[Bridge]
    D                   A
Now spread the caulk on thick
   F#m          G
To seal out the water
    D               A
Now blow on it real quick
         F#m          Em
It has a real strange odor
D       A        G           D
Why did we leave home in the first place?
    G         D       G         D
With spring and leaves all over my face
  D      A     F#m
A higher power steers me true
    G      D      G        D
Now let me do the same for you
  Em                Bm
I see this trip has taken its toll
    Em     D         G A
Now let me fill your holes

[Chorus]
          D
He's gonna caulk your wagon, Mouthface
          D                  A
He's gonna caulk your wagon, Mouthface
          D                  G
He's gonna caulk your wagon, Mouthface
  Em      A       D
Until the day you die!

D
Now that's how you caulk a wagon!
N.C.
Now we're gonna push it off on the count of three
D    D#   Em           G
One, two, three, we're off!

[Outro]
  Em      A      D                                            A
Until the day we dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh!
                (Caulk the wagon! Caulk the wagon! Caulk the wagon!)
D N.C.
  Oh goddammit!
  Arghhhh!