Do Not Think It Hurts Me Bad
It Doesn't Hurt Me None
It Does Not Mean Anything
I'm Fondling This Gun.
And I Don't Hurt That Bad
And I Don't Miss You
I Don't Eat Alone
Wishing I Was Eating With Two.

It's Like a Sad Movie
They Always Get High Ratings
In Fact I Feel Like Celebrating
I Feel Like Celebrating.

And Do Not Think I Ever Thought
That This Would Really Work
It Was Just Sort of a Casual Thing
Like Trying On a Shirt.

I Don't Sit Home Alone and Stare
At Your Picture Wishing That You Were Still There
I Never Get Lonely
In Fact I'm Probably Masturbating
In Fact I Feel Like Celebrating
I Feel Like Celebrating.

Oh Goody! Oh Joy! I'm Finally Free!
I no Longer Have to Sit Through Your Mother's Casserole Recipes
Oh Joy! Glee! I'm Finally Free!