A
We've been datin' since high school
                        D
We never once left this town
                        A
We use to go out on the weekends
                       D
And we'd drink 'til we drowned
                     G                       Bm
But now she's actin' funny, and I don't understand
                   A                     D
I think that she's found her, some other man

                G                          D
She left me for Jesus, and that just ain't fair
                   A                       D    D7
She says that he's perfect, how could I compare
                  G
She says I should find him
                       Bm
And I'll know peace at last
               A                      D
If I ever find Jesus, I'm kickin' his ass

                A                           D
She showed me a picture, all I could do was stare
                     A                             D
At that freak in his sandals, with his long pur-ty hair
                         G                         Bm
They must think that I'm stupid, or I don't have a clue
                A                           D
I'll bet he's a commie, or even worse yet a Jew

                G                          D
She left me for Jesus, and that just ain't fair
                   A                       D    D7
She says that he's perfect, how could I compare
                  G
She says I should find him
                       Bm
And I'll know peace at last
               A                      D
If I ever find Jesus, I'm kickin' his ass

G     Bm     A     D

               A                        D
She's given up whiskey, and a-takin' up wine
                    A                              D
While she prays for his troubles, has forgot about mine
                G                        Bm
I'm a-gonna get even, I can't handle the shame
                 A                                  D
Why last time we made love, she even called out his name

                G                          D
She left me for Jesus, and that just ain't fair
                   A                       D    D7
She says that he's perfect, how could I compare
                  G
She says I should find him
                       Bm
And I'll know peace at last
               A                      D
If I ever find Jesus, I'm kickin' his ass

               G                        Bm
It coulda been Carlos, or even Billy or Ted
                   A                             D
But if I ever find Jesus, he's gonna wish he was dead
G        D
A|--------| men