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Now theres a sergeant major, enjoys life when he can
EmD
He proves to all the ladies, hes a soldier and a man
GAm
He sticks out his chest, two pillows in his vest
AmDG
A bolster under his rotunda, our sergeant major
GAm
His medals break our hearts, he won them playing darts
DD7DG
And while competing, who was cheating, our sergeant major
Bm
Hes far away the worst friend we've ever had
AmD
When hes far away, well, we're mighty glad
GAm
In the canteen bar, you know what sergeants are
DD7DG
When we've passed out, whos the last out, our sergeant major
GAm
Hes got a raucous voice, his language isnt choice
DD7DG
In clink wed shove him, how we love him, our sergeant major
GAm
His weight about hell throw, the wicked so and so
DD7DG
Who'd even smother, his own mother, our sergeant major
Bm
Hes far away the worst friend we've ever had
AmD
When hes far away, well, we're mighty glad
GAm
Our bugler goes his rounds, and when the bugle sounds
DD7DG
For everlasting, whos he blasting, our sergeant major
Insert crazy solo here if you wish :)
GAm
Now he makes raw recruits, just tremble in their boots
DD7DG
Calls them slackers, whos gone crackers, our sergeant major
GAm
His feet fill up the road, knock-kneed and pigeon toed
DD7DG
We'd sooner shoot him than salute him, our sergeant major
Bm
Hes far away the worst friend we've ever had
AmD
When hes far away, well, we're mighty glad
GAm
The mascot goat we own, so big and fat has grown
DD7DG
Wild and warlike, hes far more like, our sergeant major !