We Wish You A Merry Christmas
We Wish you a merry Christmas
we wish you a merry christmas
unless you are Jewish

then we wish you a happy Chanukah
we wish you a happy Chanukah
we wish you a happy Chanukah
unless you are Muslim

then we wish you a happy Ramadan
we wish you a happy Ramadan
we wish you a happy Ramadan
unless you are Pagan

then we wish you a happy Solstice
we wish you a happy Solstice
we wish you a happy Solstice
unless you are Black... or African American... or Person Of Color... whichever is least offensive.

then we wish you a happy Kwanza
we wish you a happy Kwanza
we wish you a happy Kwanza
unless you are atheist

then we wish you a happy Tuesday
we wish you a happy Tuesday
we wish you a happy Tuesday
and a happy new year!