The Humours Of Whiskey
Andy M. Stewart
Chord: Principal (acoustic and electric guitars)We Chords Seal: This chord has been reviewed to meet the official criteria of our Quality Team.
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Let quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers
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Of curing the vapors the scratch and the gout
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With medical potions, their serums and lotions
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Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out
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Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic
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And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen
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You'll know it I think if you take a big drink
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With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation
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Can give consolation like whiskey me boys
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No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
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Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom
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As sweet by the powers in gardens of flowers
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Gave their own bowers a darling perfume
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And this liquid so rare if you willingly share
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To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead
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Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
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So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head
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Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
D A E A
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction
D A E A
Can cleanse the complexion like whiskey me boys
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While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle
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Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap
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When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle
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I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap
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On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling
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'Til me mother and father were called to the fore
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All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying
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But soon found I only was crying for more
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
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They only could suckle on whiskey me boys
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Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression
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My childhood's impression still clung to my mind
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And at school or at college the basis of knowledge
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I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined
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And as older I'm growin' times ever bestowin'
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On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine
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And how e'er they lecture on jove and his nectar
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Itself is the only true liquid divine
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
D A E A
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting
D A E A
There's nowt so exciting as whiskey me boys
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Come guess me this riddle: what beats pipes and fiddle
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What’s hotter than mustard, and milder than cream?
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What best wets your whistle? What’s clearer than crystal
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Sweeter than honey, and stronger than steam?
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What can make the dumb talk? What can make the lame walk?
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What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone?
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And what helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames tunnel?
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Sure wasn’t it whiskey from old Innishowen?
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So stick to the cratur the best thing in nature
D A E A
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
E A D
And boys, I'd half wonder if lightning and thunder
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Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys
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You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
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For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop
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With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap
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It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob
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At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool
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You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff
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Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic
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If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
D A E A
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
E A D
For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
D A E A
It soon separates all the men from the boys
A E
Come guess me this riddle: what beats pipes and fiddle
D A E
What’s hotter than mustard, and milder than cream?
A E
What best wets your whistle? What’s clearer than crystal
D A E A
Sweeter than honey, and stronger than steam?
A E
What can make the dumb talk? What can make the lame walk?
A E A
What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone?
A D E
And what helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames tunnel?
A E A
Sure wasn’t it whiskey from old Innishowen?
A E A E
So stick to the cratur the best thing in nature
D A E A
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
E A D
And boys, I'd half wonder if lightning and thunder
D A E A
Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys
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