[First Part]

E                                    G#
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel
                                      C#m
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal
                                       A
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile
                    Am               E
Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind

[Segunda Parte]

                                    G#
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head
                                  C#m
Then I could see the places I've been
                                           A
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit
                 Am                    E
I don't want to know what my friends think

[Terceira Parte]

                                G#
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn
                                    C#m
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home
                                        A
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long
                  Am               E
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone

[Quarta Parte]

                                 G#
I wish I could act in a show on TV
                                      C#m
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me
                                       A
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel
                  Am                     E
But you won't believe me when I cry for real

[Quinta Parte]

                                      G#
I wish that my brain would triple in size
                                     C#m
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight
                                        A
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind
               Am                 E
I don't wanna know the point of life

[Sexta Parte]

                                G#
In some other life I would be rich
                                    C#m
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill
                                       A
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small
              Am             E
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all

[Verso 7]

                                  G#
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack
                          C#m
I'd get invited to every frat
                                               A
But when you get old and your good days have passed
                 Am              E
You'll only want me when you're sad

[Verso 8]

                                  G#
Wish I was a song, your favourite one
                                     C#m
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom
                                     A
I would be there when your baby is born
                  Am                E
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone

[Verso 9]

                                 G#
I wish I was big, as big as my house
                                        C#m
I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd
                                       A
But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch
              Am             E
God, I could really use him now

[Primeira Parte0]

                                  G#
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up
                                C#m
And if I did, well, so fuckin' what?
                                      A
I could be cruel and break all your stuff
              Am              E
Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what

[Primeira Parte1]

                                    G#
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird
                                       C#m
'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear
                                          A
And then you would die, you'd love me to death
          Am                E
I never know who the hell I am

[Pre-Chorus]

E                             G#
I wish I was me, whoever that is
                                C#m
I could just be and not give a shit
                                   A
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan
                    Am
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
                                      E
(—Am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am—)

[Chorus]

                     E   G#    C#m
One, two, pandemonium!
A                    E    G#
One, two, pandemonium!
              C#m
Here I go again
A                    E    G#
One, two, pandemonium!
              C#m
Here I go again
                     E   G#    C#m
One, two, pandemonium!
A
One, two—
             E
Here I go again