ACTION Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' up-ke That gets us out of hand Our mothers all are junkies Our fathers all are drunks Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks! ACTION AND JETS Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get We ain't no delinquents We're misunderstood Deep down inside us there is good! ACTION There is good! ALL There is good, there is good There is untapped good! Like inside, the worst of us is good! SNOWBOY: (Spoken) That's a touchin' good story ACTION: (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world! SNOWBOY: Just tell it to the judge ACTION Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad! DIESEL: (As Judge) Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed He's psychologic'ly disturbed! ACTION I'm disturbed! JETS We're disturbed, we're disturbed We're the most disturbed Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed DIESEL: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court This child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home ACTION: (Spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived DIESEL: So take him to a headshrinker ACTION (Sings) My father is a bastard My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! A-RAB: (As Psychiatrist) Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologic'ly he's sick! ACTION I am sick! ALL We are sick, we are sick We are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick! A-RAB: In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! ACTION: Hey, I got a social disease! A-RAB: So take him to a social worker! ACTION Dear kindly social worker They say go earn a buck Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schumck It's not I'm anti-social I'm only anti-work Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk! BABY JOHN: (As Female Social Worker) Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood Deep down inside him, he's no good! ACTION I'm no good! ALL We're no good, we're no good! We're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good! DIESEL (As Judge) The trouble is he's crazy A-RAB (As Psychiatrist) The trouble is he drinks BABY JOHN (As Female Social Worker) The trouble is he's lazy DIESEL The trouble is he stinks A-RAB The trouble is he's growing BABY JOHN The trouble is he's grown ALL Krupke, we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke We're down on our knees 'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease Gee, Officer Krupke What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke Krup you!