Momma, Momma, it's a mad, mad world I feel bad for all the boys and girls Fallin' in from the astral plane Out of the great unknown into the grand insane But listen, children, I've got good news You don't have to play by the rules So step right up and just stake your claim And I'm gon' teach you how to play the game Just throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be President Momma, Momma, I hate to say Dog eat dog seems like the only way To take your seat in the captain's chair Lord knows, the golden rule ain't gonna get you there So don't be humble and don't be kind, no, no All that noise is just a waste of time (It's a waste of your time) And pay no mind to what the people say So long as the people say your name (Keep 'em sayin' your name) Just throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence, and You could be president Momma, Momma, it's hard to see That old Lady called Liberty Weeping into that New York bay, no, no Well if I could console her, this is what I'd say Just throw your punches and have no hesitance Follow hunches in spite of evidence This whole Earth is just a private residence And it's all yours, so you can make your mess of it Run your mouth and mix all your messages Twist the truth until you can't make sense of it You can't lose if you can keep on bendin' it You could be President You could be President You could be President You could be President