Nook, Line & Sinker

The Stupendium

Composed by: The Stupendium
Sorry, where was I? Ah, yes

They say of the fable that businessmen croon
That dog may eat dog but he pays the raccoon
Filling up the coffers
Billing up the otters
Watching them squirm
Yes, lions and tigers and bears owe my firm

I've made mountains from founding
These half-finished villages
Run down little towns
That I fill up with idiots

Declare one the mayor
Flair their ego a little bit
Charge them with fixing it
Then charge for the privilege

You buy land at a high deposit
When I drop profitable hovels on it
Each island is like a wallet
'Cause I got the whole place in my pocket

You crank the land value
With every little bit of spit and polish
If I get a better tenant than you
Well, thank you! Everything's demolished

It's about time I took some more
Payments from your good selves
I'm just balancing the books
But I'm still waiting on the bookshelves

You promised you'd build me
Once you'd patched the fence
Don't like it? Then bill me
I'll just add it to the rent

Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully
Slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back
Of our new horizon

Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon
Can't handle my mess?
You'd best stick with splatoon
You'll be knee deep in seashells
Before we hit noon
And that's hardly a dent
In the debt you've accrued

You may wonder why we keep moving around
The houses you buy
Aren't that structurally sound
A few years will lapse
They collapse to the ground
And these suckers cough up
For another new town!

You call me amoral? Is that what you think?
Well, at least I've not driven
My assistant to drink
Poor, dear little isabelle is caught in a living hell
It's fishing and yard work
Not building a citadel

Overworked, underpaid
That poor little shih tzu
Managing a bunch of animals
I guess it really is a-
I guess you see the pun there

Some mayor you turned out to be
If I do say so
How fitting, in a town full of critters
That the only human is the scapegoat

Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And we pay it gratefully
Slaving every day for the
Price tag attached to the back
Of our new horizon

Extortion has seldom been so inoffensive
No matter the tax and whatever the rent is
They flock and they herd
Just to pay their expenses
With no picket lines
'Cept a few garden fences

Read between the lines
And you might find the margins
So, eat up the jargon
Don't argue the bargains
Or I'll add a no pets clause
It wouldn't be hard
And I'll have every resident live in the garden

Never seen a game so twee
But there's administration fees
For this little haven we
Chiselled from complacency
And you pay it gratefully (and we pay it gratefully)
Slaving every day for the (slaving every day for the)
Price tag I've slapped on the back (price tag attached to the back)
Of your new horizon (of our new horizon)

Right, rent's due
And I think you owe me some nuts
Or fruit or fish or something
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