It was supposed to be so easy Just take back the DVD, withdraw that extra money Tell mum I wouldn't be back for tea, then grab my savings and hurry So first to get the film back in time, to avoid that big fine I had to do a fast hill climb, but a faster decline But I flew a bit quick, arms like a lunatic Had to stop for a few ticks, I started feeling sick Got to the video shop in a state, but chuffed it wouldn't be late Only when he flicked open the case, I'd left the disc at my place Today I've achieved absolutely nought In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how So I failed on the DVD, but I still had to get the money Tell mum I couldn't make tea, get the saving and then hurry Rushing to the cash machine, still a bit mashed and lean Then of course a mandatory car, drives by and splashes me Get there the cues outrageous, ladies taking ages My rage is blowing gauges, how longs it take to validate your wages? At last my turn comes, press the 50 squid button Insufficient funds Today I've achieved absolutely nought In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how So I failed on the DVD, couldn't withdraw any money But I still had to call mum, get the savings and hurry So to call mum so that, I could tell her I cant go and that At least I remembered my phone man, I didn't know her number offhand Where's my phone have I got it, Oh this is a crock of shit I lost the fucking thing, oh here it is in my pocket But the batteries nearly flat, gotta call quick snap Aww shit, the battery is flat Today I've achieved absolutely nought In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how So I've failed on the DVD, couldnt withdraw any money Or call mum about tea, I'll have to get the savings and hurry But where was the money, I knew I'd left it on the Side, next to the telly, this is not even funny I left it in the living room, ready to pick up as soon As I passed through, on the way out to the rendevous So the shoebox full of money, just disappearing from me Is not what I call funny, a grand dont come for free Today I've achieved absolutely nought In just being out of the house, I've lost out If I wanted to end up with more now I should've just stayed in bed, like I know how (Oi, soaked to the bone in my jeans, do you want me to stop? I imagine my mums weaping right now And the thousand pounds you swore, that I left on the table this morn Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes and yours And I'm a thousand pounds poorer, a hundred thousand pennies, no more A thousandth of a million squid, or two monkeys or a whole fifty scores Gone withdrawn from my life, the money is no more for sure) It was supposed to be easy