I'd commit a number of any crimes If i could get a thousand lashes from your eyes It's a puerile compliment I'm a senile delinquent Whose day in court never comes Whose way to court girls is all thumbs Whose day in court never comes Whose way to court he just hums Who is city and who is horses? Who writes the words and who sings the choruses? I'm fishing for a complain tent I'm in prison on arraignment For a crime i didn't commit This time i'm innocent I swear that i'm not fit To take the stand and admit This time i'm innocent