A wizard needs a beard A pirate needs a beard A hippy needs a beard And you, you need a beard You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard You call yourself a man? A professor needs a beard An archivist needs a beard A bush ranger needs a beard And you, you need a beard You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard You call yourself a man? You need a beard You need a beard You gotta have a beard You call yourself a man? You're not a man without a beard A king needs a beard A terrorist needs a beard A bearded thug needs a beard And you, you need a beard You need a beard, you've gotta have a beard You call yourself a man? 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 Beard!