I’m a christmas unicorn In a uniform made of gold With a billy goat beard And a sorceror’s shield And mistletoe on my nose Oh i’m a christian holiday I’m a symbol of original sin I’ve a pagan tree and magical wreath And a bowtie on my chin Oh i’m a pagan heresy I’m a tragic-al catholic shrine I’m a little bit shy with a lazy eye And a penchant for sublime Oh i’m a mystical apostasy I’m a horse with a fantasy twist Though i play all night with my magical kite People say i don’t exist For i make no full apology For the category i reside I’m a mythical mess with a treasury chest I’m a construct of your mind Oh i’m hysterically american I’ve a credit card on my wrist And i have no home nor field to roam I will curse you with my kiss Oh i’m a criminal pathology With a history of medical care I’m frantic shopper and a brave pill popper And they say my kind are rare But i’ve seen others in the uniform Of a unicorn just like me We are legions wide and we chose no sides We are masters of mystique For you’re a christmas unicorn I have seen you on the beat You may dress in the human uniform, child But i know you’re just like me ... I’m the christmas unicorn! (find the christmas unicorn!) You’re the christmas unicorn too! It’s all right. i love you. ... Love: love will tear us apart . . . again Love: love will tear us apart . . . my friend (i'm the christmas unicorn! you're the christmas unicorn!)