Some friends and I in a public house Were playing dominoes one night When into the room the barman came His face all chalky white What's up?, says Brown, have seen a ghost? Have you see your Aunt Maria? Oh, me Aunt Maria be buggered, says he The bloody pub‟s on fire! On fire, says Brown, what a bit of luck! Everybody follow me! Down to the cellar, if the fire's not there We‟ll have a rare old spree So we all went down after good old Brown And booze we could not miss And we weren‟t there five minutes or more Till we were all half-pissed And there was Brown, upside down Licking up the whiskey off the floor Booze, Booze!, the firemen cried Ss they came knocking at the door Don't let them in till it's all mopped up Somebody! Shouted MacIntyre And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk When the Old Dun Cow caught fire Then Smith went over to the port-wine tub And gave it a few hard knocks And started taking off his pantaloons Likewise his shoes and socks Hold on, says Brown, we can't have that You can't do that in here Don't go washing your trotters in the port-wine tub When we've got all this Lite beer And there was Brown, upside down Licking up the whiskey off the floor Booze, Booze, the firemen cried Ss they came knocking at the door Don't let them in till it's all mopped up Somebody, shouted MacIntyre And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk When the Old Dun Cow caught fire Well, then there came an awful crash Half the bloody roof gave way We were drowned in the firemen‟s hose Still we were going to stay So we got some tacks and our old wet slacks And we nailed ourselves inside And we sat there swallyin' pints of stout Till we were bleary eyed And there was Brown, upside down Licking up the whiskey off the floor Booze, Booze, the firemen cried Ss they came knocking at the door Don't let them in till it's all mopped up Somebody, shouted MacIntyre And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk When the Old Dun Cow caught fire