I have a favourite brother And his Christian name is Paul He's lately joined a football club For he's mad about football He's two black eyes already And teeth lost from his gob Since Paul became a member of That terrible football club For he's football crazy He's football mad The football it has taken away The little bit o' sense he had And it would take a dozen servants To wash his clothes and scrub Since Paul became a member of That terrible football club In the middle of the field, one afternoon The captain says: Now Paul Would you kindly take this place-kick Since your mad about football? So he took forty paces backwards Shot of from the mark The ball went sailing o-ver the bar And landed in New York For he's football crazy His wife says she'll leave him If Paulie doesn't keep Away from football kicking At night-time in his sleep He calls out: 'Pass, McGinty! And other things so droll Last night he kicked her out of bed And swore it was a goal! For he's football crazy