That gorilla you're dancing with May not have too long to live He's putting his hands in the wrong places Time to rearrange his face He's gonna dance with me instead And I'm gonna tap dance on his head Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me I'm half way out of my seat He's got the looks, he's got the lolly Driving me clean off my trolley Doing the jitterbug, doing the jive Doing the shimmy, snakes alive That's not a dance, that's S-E-X Ban that couple, certificate X Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me I'm half way out of my seat Oh I'm a patient man but it's out of hand If there's one thing that I can't stand Get your mittens off my gal Or you'll end up as mincemeat, pal I've got friends, mean sons They've got knives, chains, guns Gas grenades, knuckle-dusters Lazy Susans, blockbusters Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me I'm half way out of my seat I'm sitting here calm as I can While you polish the floor with another man I'm not mad, I'm a cuddly toy Just keep me away from laughing boy You say he's a relative, some hope If he's your uncle, I'm the Pope! Don't tempt me, don't tempt me, don't tempt me I'm half way out of my seat