When the party hit full swing I saw you come reeling in You had that six-pack in a stranglehold Now you stagger, now you sway Why don't you fall the other way 'Cause I've got something here worth more than gold I said "Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands They don't mend with sticky tape and glue Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands And that's my very best advice to you" Call me precious, I don't mind 78s are hard to find You just can't get the shellac since the war This one's the Beltona brand Finest label in the land They don't make them like that anymore I said "Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Unless you want to wind up black and blue Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands And that's my very best advice to you" Darling though you're twice my size I don't mean to patronize Honey let me lead you by the hand Find a lap or find a chair You can park it anywhere Just don't rest your cheeks against my man I said "Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands They don't mend with sticky tape and glue Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands And that's my very best advice to you" No shindig is half complete Without that famous polka beat That's why they invite me, I suppose Waltzes, strathspeys, eights, some reels Now you know how good it feels Crank that handle babe, away she goes I said "Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Unless you want to wind up black and blue" I said "Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands That's my very best advice to you"