Tell me why Did you have to say I need you? When you always snatch my soul from me And leaves my shell to rot in brainwash Tell me how Did I leave behind all life could be Vowing a jug of poison in the morning for your moonlit body You drive me into the edge of a panic attack Yet here I am, found missing in your arms And you won't even hold me Despite luring all that hates me inside And hell would turn upside down with the fury I feel for your eyes As their empowered gaze shows me all was a waste of time But don't you dare patronize what I have felt I'd never realize how your glance 'd make me mad How I wanted to caress you and kiss your neck So I kissed my hand instead But don't you dare patronize what I have felt I'd never realize how wanting you 'd make me mad I felt as if torn, as if I should reach you but couldn't Dreaming closer to death than ever before I love the way you touch, but I hate the way you feel And I hate you as my designer, painting me upon your own desire to disappear Except when I don't, except when your laugh makes me happy for once Until you leave and I can't help but ask: Why did I laugh with you too? Why did I always have to be thinking of you, over and over again When none of it at all was real? When I could never see you without that veil That lets no real sensation through As all that surfaces from you is so fucking Lame But don't you dare patronize what I have felt I'd never realize how your glance 'd make me mad How I wanted to caress you and kiss your neck So I kissed my hand instead But don't you dare patronize what I have felt I'd never realize how wanting you 'd make me mad I felt as if torn, as if I should reach you but couldn't Dreaming closer to death than ever before And yet it's never enough And it won't ever be enough Always stuck on our own egos through venereal fixation, in an ever-romantic disguise Tiptoeing for angst, yet all too much cowardly There isn't unity, I need to get out of here You can't live without me, but I can only live without you