Why do I have to feel like this? It's not your fault but I wish it was Razorblade kisses in my skin While sad songs plays in my ears Why do I always return to you If I know it breaks me everytime? Why do I make me look at you When I know you can't be mine? I know I can't be loved I know that I'm not healthy My mind is so fucked up Please, somebody help me I'm hurting myself for you I see my blood drops in the ground Do you even care how I feel? Well, I wouldn't be writing this if you did All this voices in my head All of them tell me to end it up All of them want me dead Will somebody hear me out? I hate falling in love I mean, I hate that I fell in love You were my first love You were my only love They say that you can't be hurt by someone that you have never touched By someone that you have never saw But, shit, it hurts You don't know how much it hurts Shit, it hurts You don't know how much it hurted It's breaking me down, again and again I'm letting it drown, drown this pain It's breaking me down, again and again I'm letting it drown, drown this pain I'm not okay, I'll let you know that I'm not okay, I'll let you know that It is hard to love that hard When I hate myself and want to die Selfharming in my arms while throwing up stars I'm throwing up stars I see sparkles in your memories Did you really were that good? Can't get through with therapies I know you think that I could You only look out for me when you want to feel loved Just tell me, baby, do I make you feel loved? You only look out for me when you need to be hold Do I make you feel in home? Do you know that I'm alive 'cause I promised it to you? Well, I think I'll make you dissapointed once again Because I don't know if I'll be alive when you listen to this I don't know if you are listening to me I want to hate you but I can't I want to blame you but I'm the only guilty here Sorry, but I wrote your name in my chest using a knife Sorry, but I need to cry for ten years more I'm living for the 'maybe' that I know that will never come I am living for the 'maybe' that I know that will never be Shit