I'm not home. This is not my home. Don't call me on the phone. I can't even pick up the receiver. It's way too heavy for me. This is not me. This is not who I want to be. Your message was recorded, but the meaning not receieved. You advise me to sit still and take it. Thanks a lot. What else can I do? This is history. This is repetition. And it's crushing me. I can feel it, but I can't say it in front of the kids. It's way too fucking big. It weighs down my eyelids. I never thought we'd make the same mistakes our parents made.