She broke up with me two days later I think she met her don Juan in Italy She has a new man I have a new mustache Now all my friends are gonna call me mountain man And everyone will think that I'm a stupid drifter To walk the earth alone I'll never shave again On the night she left me Facial hair grew miraculously I dressed in black like Johnny cash And grew this beard of shame I've heard it said she looks a lot like Sherilyn fenn And sometimes I'm mistaken for Billy gibbons I may appear wise but I'm an idiot It's over she left me And she will soon forget me She found out I was lame I grew a beard of shame Come all be faithful joyful and triumphant I am a new man I have a beard of shame