I'll remember forever, When I was but three, Mama, who was clever. Remarking to me…. If son when you're grown up You want ev'rything nice I've got your future sewn up If you take this advice… Be a clown, be a clown All the world loves a clown Act the fool play the calf And you'll always have the last laugh Wear the cap and the bells And you'll rate with all the best swells If you become a doctor, folks'll face you with dread If you become a dentist, they'll be glad when you're dead You'll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown. Be a clown, be a clown All the world loves a clown Be a crazy buffoon And the demoiselles'll all swoon Dress in huge baggy pants And you'll ride the road to romance A butcher or a baker ladies never embrace A barber or a beau would be a social disgrace They all'll come to call if you can fall on your face Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown Be a clown, be a clown All the world loves a clown Show 'em tricks tell 'em jokes And you'll only stop with top folks Be a crack jackanapes And they'll imitate you like apes Why be a great composer with your rent in arrears? Why be a major poet and you'll owe it for years? When crowds'll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown Be a clown, be a clown All the world loves a clown If you just make 'em roar Watch your mountebank soar Wear a painted moustache And you're sure to make a big splash A college education I should never propose A bachelor's degree won't even keep you in clo'es But millions you will win if you can spin on your nose Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown Be a clown, be a clown All the world loves a clown Be the poor silly ass And you'll always travel first class Give 'em quips, give 'em fun And they'll apy and say you're A1 If you become a farmer you've the weather to buck If you become a gambler you'll be stuck with your luck But Jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck (Quack, quack, quack, quack) Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown