Everybody loves a nut the whole world loves a weirdo Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut There was a hermit named Fred who kept the dead horse in his cave And everyone said to Fred Fred how come you keep a dead horse in your cave and he said well (Everybody loves a nut, the whole world loves a weirdo) Brains are in a rut but everybody loves a nut A columbia man named Frank had a tiger named Hank He tried to put Hank in his tank guess what happened to ol' Frank When they picked up the teets there and eyeballs And erected a tombstone that read (Everybody loves a nut) Another Columbia fella told queen Isabella I don't think the world is flat and now what do you think about that And she said: You don't, and he said: No ma'm And she said he'd get out of my queendom, and he said: Yes ma'm (Everybody loves a nut) (Everybody loves a nut)