Tell me mirror, mirror on the wall Who's the sickest Sex Pistol of them all? Is it Johnny Rotten? I don't know I'd really like to ask him, but he drives me up the wall Now take old Sidney Vicious, he's a clown He'd turn his mother in for less than half a crown (chorus) But I wish I had a union I wish I had a union But I wish I had a union I wish I had a union Now take my mate, old Cookie, he's off his head Just give him his Daily Mirror and a pint of Whatney's red Now here comes Stevie Jonesy, He's a slag He loves to get his knob sucked wrapped in a Union Jack (chorus) But I wish I had a union I wish I had a union I wish I had a union I wish I had a union Never trust a hippie, they killed Bambi We gave a little filth and fury for all your mugs to see There's nothing like the real thing, so they say Just like a creepy cockroach, we'll never fade away