I can do this, somehow I know it I'll get heaven behind my plans (charlie, hold on) There's just no way I could blow it Not this once in а lifetime chance (it's just a meeting) To change their minds and touch their hearts Or whatever angels have (this could be bad) Cheer up, Vaggie, this could be swell Something tells me that today will be a happy day in hell Okay, but just don't sing to them (that bitch is halfway down the street) Is shе-? (Oh, she's dancin') Ugh, no There's a warm fuzzy feelin' that wafts through the air Every street so revealing it's hard not to stare It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere If you don't mind the smell It's a happy day in hell Hi, mistеr! (Go fuck yourself!) There's an endless trаsh fire that's burning my soul (hello!) Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole (oh, excuse me) Doin' what is required, we all have our role I'm not doin' well Another shitty day in hell! If I can show them the dream I've dreamed That any soul can change ('cause angels' minds are hard to change) Then they will know everyone can be redeemed From the evil to the strange (they're bloodthirsty and deranged) I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced And I know that they're more of an acquired taste But if I open the door and I give them a place At my hazbin hotel It'll be a happy day in hell From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows To the cannibal town, where they don't wear a frown 'Cаuse, holy shit, oh my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye 'Cause I know I can spare them from heaven's genocide I can do this, I just know it (there's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul) I'll get heaven (ah-ah) behind my plans There's just no way I could blow it (kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole) Not this once (ah-ah) in а lifetime chance to change their minds (and touch my parts!) Uh, no, thank you, I'm just gonnа fulfill my destiny (you loss, bitch!) I can already tell Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in hell!