In the heart of Rome, there’s a tale untold Of an emperor mighty, with a belly of gold Maximus Diabeticus, the feast king supreme His toga barely fits, but he’s living the dream! Turkey legs in both hands, grapes on the floor He’s eating his way through empire lore Maximus, Maximus, oh what a fuss! He’s the chubbiest ruler, but he’s fabulous! With a goblet of wine and a sausage or three Maximus Diabeticus rules gluttonously! Senators beg: Oh, please take care! But Maximus laughs: Bring more eclairs! He conquered the breadsticks, laid siege to the stew Even Caesar’s salad wasn’t safe from his chew His chariot creaks, his armor’s too tight But he feasts through the day and naps through the fight Maximus, Maximus, oh what a fuss! He’s the jolliest ruler, but his belt might bust With a plate in his hand and dessert in his hair Maximus Diabeticus just doesn’t care! One day a gladiator dared to compete In a pie-eating contest, Maximus took the seat The arena roared as he devoured it all Proclaiming him champion of the Roman food hall! Maximus, Maximus, oh what a fuss! He’s the plumpest emperor, yet so illustrious! With his fork in the air, he declares with glee Rome was built on pasta, and it’s all thanks to me! Maximus, Maximus, oh what a fuss! He’s the plumpest emperor, yet so illustrious! With his fork in the air, he declares with glee Rome was built on pasta, and it’s all thanks to me! So raise a toast to the legend so grand Maximus Diabeticus, the man with a plan To eat, to rule, to feast with delight The roundest emperor, who’s out of sight!