Well were livin' here in alan town And he's driven our lives into the ground When we woke up we were wasted and drunk Phil got shot We got beaten by a monk I was happy and my life was good Getting married like a dentist should Roasting marshmallows on a stick I got fucked in the ass by girl with a dick. And were livin' here in alan town But they're takin' teddy's finger and now And i'm pretty sure i'm gonna lose my shit and shoot alan in the face Then shoot myself.