I hope that the last the page of your 800 page novel is missing. And I hope that it rains if you leave the window down on your red mustang. 'Cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you. And if you drop your keys I hope there's a sewer somewhere very nearby. I hope that your team lost; I hope your new girl takes off with a new guy. (old version: and if you're out of clean sheets I hope your new girl takes off and it's clear why) 'Cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you. And I would like to be your girlfriend so I could dump you. And I would like to be your garbage man so I would never have to pick up your trash again. Maybe you should wonder why your apartment is always so empty. Well I hope you get locked out of that apartment and have to call Jenny. 'Cause everyday ought to be a bad day for you. But i'm sorry if it ever is.