Everytime I go to dinner It seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner I'll sit down at the breakfast table I can talk, but theyre not able When I look at them I find There's a single question on their mind I wish it could go back to the way it was Its not easy no because My whole family thinks I'm gay I guess its always been that way Maybe its cause of the way I walk That makes them think that I like boys The goddamn question just wont go away Cause I get asked every single day But the way they ask it is no disguise Like: How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys? This is the worst, baby this was my fear Now their opinions are crystal clear My whole family now is shocked I'm in the closet and the door is locked Now my glory days are gone I was john elway now I'm elton John My whole family now suspects That watching Spongebob had side-effects But I'm not gay and that's what I said If I'm gay then God strike me dead Just cause I go to an all-guys school Doesnt mean justin timberlake makes me drool When I go outside, what do I see? The clouds in the sky spell F-A-G I think that God might think I'm gay What does he know anyway My grandma gave me a present just last year And the card said: Happy birthday, queer! My whole family thinks I'm fab There's a guys butt, hey bo, take a stab! Why doesn't he get women, there's no other way Its cause I'm lanky, not cause I'm gay Just cause I'm afraid of the snow Or my favorite color is, the rainbow I don't mean to yell but I fear I must Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay, just kidding You all probably think I'm gay Man this song is counterproductive La-la-la-la-la Cause my whole family thinks I'm gay What am I suppose to say? Baby you gotta see right through the haze Easy-bake oven was just a phase My whole family thinks I'm queer That is all I ever hear But I've been as straight as a ramp If you don't count bible camp