[Lydia] Way back when I was just ten Simple and sweet Everywhere Fellas would stare Out on the street And I felt used Kinda confused I would refuse to look in their eyes But now I really love creepy old guys! [All] We all do! [Barbara] Gum disease [Delia] Skin like grilled cheese [Lydia] Saggy old asses! [Delia] Saggy old asses! [Lydia] It's cute and vile- [Delia and Barbara] Hey baby, smile! [Lydia] To each girl that passes! [Delia] (Wolf-whistling) [Lydia] They make me blush! [Barbara] Can't get enough! [Lydia] Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine! [Barbara and Delia] That's right! [Lydia] Marrying my own creepy old guy! [Betelgeuse] I'm a creepy old guy! [Lydia] My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy I'm so happy I could cry! [Barbara and Delia] Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy! [Lydia] My creepy old groom! [Barbara] Creepy old groom! [Barbara and Lydia] Play that wedding tune [Lydia] Hey folks, step aside! [Betelgeuse] I am older, but I'm glad I waited! [Lydia] 'Cuz here comes the bride! I am marrying my creepy old guy [The others] Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy [Lydia] My creepy old guy! [The others] Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy! [Lydia] Fix his hair Get him prepared For Armageddon [Barbara] Sure, the groom Crawled out of a tomb- [Delia] But hey, hey, it's a wedding! [Lydia] So dim the lights Pick up some rice Say something nice! It's my day to shine I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy! [Betelgeuse] It's showtime! [Barbara and Delia] Creepy old guy, creepy old guy She's marrying a creepy old guy! [Charles] Have you guys seen Lolita? This is just like that, but fine! [The others] Creepy old dude, creepy old dude Our faith has been renewed Now love is alive! [Lydia] Wave your baby girl goodbye I am walking down the aisle I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by I know that on the outside he's disgusting And even on the inside, he's disgusting But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right [The others] Making it right, making it right! [Lydia] With my family by my side [Betelgeuse] O-M-G Dressed to a T Fancy and formal I found me a wife L'chaim! To life! This is so normal! I was ignored But now, I'm adored! 'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied Give it up for my underage bride! [The others] Here comes the bride Here comes the bride God be glorified! [All (including Betelgeuse and Lydia)] I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright [Lydia] My creepy old guy My creepy old guy Doesn't he deserve a chance at life? [Betelgeuse] oh, yeah, that's right! [The others] Yeah, that's right! [Lydia] Let's make him alive! I am marrying my creepy old guy! [The others] Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy! Guy, guy! [Betelgeuse] I have chills! [All] Yeeeeeeeeah!