[The squip] Take your hands out of your pockets Arch your back, puff out your chest Add some swagger to your gate or You'll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor Fix your posture, then the rest [Jeremy] But I am a masturbator-- [The squip] We'll fix that All your nerdiness is ugly [Jeremy] Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but-- [The squip] All your stammering's a chore [Jeremy] Wh-wh-what? [The squip] Your tics and fidgets are persistent And your charm is non-existent Fix your vibe, then fix some more Buh [Jeremy] Wha? [The squip] Buh [Jeremy] Wha? [The squip] No [Jeremy] Aah! [The squip] Stop Oh, everything about you is so terrible Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die [Jeremy] Jesus Christ [The squip] So don't freak out And don't resist And have no doubt If I assist You will Be more chill First thing's first, go buy a new shirt [Jeremy] What?! What's wrong with my shirt-- [The squip] It's better if you just comply My job's to color your aesthetic And make you seem much less pathetic Just step and fetch, don't ask me why [Jeremy] How are you with math homework? [The squip] I'm a super-computer, jeremy I'm made of math Oh, everything about you is so terrible [People in the mall] Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks! [The squip] Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die [People in the mall] Everything about you sucks! Everything about you sucks! [The squip & people in the mall] All the people in the mall Think you're such a slob [People in the mall] You're a slob! Terrible! Such a slob! [The squip] And boy, can I see why! Now you try picking a shirt That's a girl's shirt [Jeremy] Sorry [Chloe] Jerry? [Jeremy] Jeremy [Chloe] You shop here? [Jeremy] Oh, yeah all the time-- [The squip] Never [Jeremy] Never Is what I meant to [The squip] Greet the beta [Jeremy] Oh Hey, brooke [The squip] You look sexy [Jeremy] I can't say that to a hot girl! [The squip] Don't smile Stare intensely Speak like you don't care about your own death [Jeremy] Lookin' pretty sexy, brooke [Brooke] Thanks [Chloe] Is that a girl's shirt? [Jeremy] No [The squip] Yes [Jeremy] Yes [The squip] Repeat after me-- I saw it in the window And I couldn't dismiss [Jeremy] I saw it in the window And I couldn't dismiss [The squip] I was dating a girl and She had a shirt just like this [Jeremy] I was dating a girl and She had a shirt just like this [The squip] It's still painful [Jeremy] It's still painful [Chloe] So, who was this mystery girl? [Jeremy] Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so-- [The squip] Madeline [Jeremy] Madeline [Chloe] What? [Jeremy] She's french [Chloe] Ugh! She is not french! She just pretends to be for attention! [Brooke] Madeline broke up with you? [Jeremy] Yeah [The squip] No [Jeremy] I mean-- [The squip] I broke up with her [Jeremy] I broke up with her [The squip] 'Cause she was Cheating on me [Jeremy, overselling it] 'Cause she was Cheating on me [The squip] Hey, Hamlet Be more chill