Oh, it's quiet in the evening Dust on the ceiling Knock on the door, but no one's home Feel myself slipping and I hop in the whip Thinking a night drive will settle me and I'll get a grip I put my foot down on the gas and now I'm starting to drift And I can feel my heart beating deep inside of my ribs Going over all scenarios and all the what-ifs I think that it's about time I try to give 'em their wish I'm thinking 'bout a way to end it so it's painless and quick And go from someone they know into somebody they'll miss I could hit a brick wall like all the ones that I built Around myself, or maybe swallow down a bottle of pills But maybe not, 'cause I can't even learn to swallow the guilt Or tell my therapist the way I fucking actually feel Homie, shit's getting real, 'cause I'm sick of the pain Got the drive inside of me from never catching a break It's an infection, I can feel it spreading out in my veins And the only way to beat it is accepting my fate Oh, it's quiet in the evening Dust on the ceiling I wrote a note to all I've known Was never the right time I said my goodbyes Knock on the door, but no one's home I'm exhausted from circling inside of my head I'm feeling nauseous, struggling with catching my breath 100-pound weight buried deep inside of my chest I'm going round 8, waking up and covered in sweat With nothing left to give, and nothing left to lose I'm thinking this is it, it's time to make my move I rip out every stitch, open up all my wounds To feed the emptiness, I got a date with fumes I'm filling my garage with carbon monoxide While I'm on the phone with the suicide hotline Telling 'em my life sucks, I'm ready to swap sides And when I'm gone, time will keep on moving clockwise Nah, I'ma end this with the way it started The Hollywood way they can milk and market A knife from my back to my wrist and carve it And finally give myself a red carpet. Damn Oh, it's quiet in the evening Dust on the ceiling I wrote a note to all I've known Was never the right time I said my goodbyes Knock on the door, but no one's home Tap on the window—I thought that the reaper was tucking me into my bed It was a cop, and the way that he found me, he thought he was pulling out somebody dead Calling me lucky and telling me somebody's coming to put me together again Suddenly something was changing, I'm feeling like I can see life through a different lens Now it's all hitting me, what was I thinking? Thought I didn't wanna survive Hard to believe a coincidence didn't just happen and all of this wasn't a sign But in that time is when I noticed that I felt alive I had to cheat death to realize I didn't wanna die