Humidity doesn't bother me Neither does the pouring rain Cause 5 minutes later it's better or worse But it never stays the same It's hot and it's dusty My armpits are musty and my cowboy hat is soaked A man on a three wheeled bike sets me up with a 50 cent snow cone At a quarter to two eatin' Mexican food Free chips and beans and rice SMILE WHEN YOU SAY TEXAS And everything will be alright We've got Willie Nelson And Serial Killers And King Of The Hill And the moonshine distillers And Texas is the only place to have killed The president in his car Heavy laws for petty crimes Paying off probation fees A system designed to fuck you up That's why our prisons are our fastest growing indusrty (fuck the system) In 1980 John Travolta Filmed Urban Cowboy here Lookin' for love in all the wrong places And drinking Gilley's beer In the basement of the Alamo We've got Pee Wee Hermans Bike FUCK YA'LL WE'RE FROM TEXAS Where the stars are big and bright All night Yee-Haw